Celebrate life (epiphany from the chemo centre)

Prior to my first chemo, I mentally prepared myself for a scene of grim and sombre looking people at the chemo centre and determined not to be affected by it. Contrary to what I imagined, I was cheerfully greeted by the staff and most of the patients there. Probably because we are on the same boat, we can easily strike a conversation. Whether it is a direct interaction or through my sis who is my ambassador, there is always a sense of camaraderie and air of optimism. We share our medical conditions, the side effects and exchange ideas of the antidote, and sometimes a word of encouragement to each other.

Some of them are in more advanced stages. There is a woman with breast cancer more the five years ago and had since metastasized to her lungs, brain and ovary. I learned of her condition from my sis who chatted with her. She described them in a matter-of-factly tone. My sis said she didn’t see any traces of resignation or anguish in her expression. Although look a bit thin, she’s still going strong and is capable of taking care of herself. Another man who has fourth stage prostate cancer which spread to his bones was there with his wife on my last chemo. According to his wife, he was told to have only a few months to live but it has been more than three years now.  For him, it’s still life as usual; eat well, sleep well and travel occasionally. He certainly doesn’t look sick to me.  What I see in them is not desperation to prolong their lives. I marvel at how they live with such courage despite the flag at the finishing line waving at them in the horizon. The difference is they see theirs while most of us have yet to notice ours, not that they aren’t there. Sometimes we don’t know how strong we are until we come face to face with a crisis. It takes courage to face it and facing it gives us more courage.

And there’s these two women who are in their last lap of treatment. Both are looking forward to celebrating their “graduation”. It seems to me that it is more than celebrating a graduation. I somehow feel we have all intrinsically learned to celebrate life. Being shown the hard truth of our own mortality is a good wake-up call to examine our attitude towards life which can be taken away anytime. That calls for an urgency to live it well. Instead of worrying when will be the end of it, we celebrate each day by living it.